SYD'S TALE
By Han Adcock
You probably know me.
I was the one you rinsed down the drain last night.
I was the one in the dark that gave you a fright.
Yes, I see recognition in your eyes.
I am the hairy thing inside the end of your slipper
Which was probably used to flatten me beforehand.
I think you're beginning to remember.
As I recall, I climbed up a spout.
Down came the rain and cleaned my brain out.
You probably think it wasn't like that,
But actually it was quite refreshing
And I'm coming back.
You can probably recollect some of the things I've done,
How they shouted and screamed and flapped.
Sometime, I think, the other day,
I frightened a woman away
And was left with a bowl of Quakers' oats.
Then there was that time
When that great fat man sat on me.
It wasn't a pleasant way to go.
I don't think you'd like it, in your final moments, to see
A broad rear hovering over your head.
But such is life.
There are some that say I came from Mars
And played in a band with a lanky lad with an odd name.
I don't miss it much anyway.
If you could find it in your heart not to tread on me now
That would be highly appreciated.
Oh, there you go. Look what you've done.
Now I'm flat on the ground
It seems like I'm bound
To go back to square one.
I was the one you rinsed down the drain last night.
I was the one in the dark that gave you a fright.
Yes, I see recognition in your eyes.
I am the hairy thing inside the end of your slipper
Which was probably used to flatten me beforehand.
I think you're beginning to remember.
As I recall, I climbed up a spout.
Down came the rain and cleaned my brain out.
You probably think it wasn't like that,
But actually it was quite refreshing
And I'm coming back.
You can probably recollect some of the things I've done,
How they shouted and screamed and flapped.
Sometime, I think, the other day,
I frightened a woman away
And was left with a bowl of Quakers' oats.
Then there was that time
When that great fat man sat on me.
It wasn't a pleasant way to go.
I don't think you'd like it, in your final moments, to see
A broad rear hovering over your head.
But such is life.
There are some that say I came from Mars
And played in a band with a lanky lad with an odd name.
I don't miss it much anyway.
If you could find it in your heart not to tread on me now
That would be highly appreciated.
Oh, there you go. Look what you've done.
Now I'm flat on the ground
It seems like I'm bound
To go back to square one.