THE BUDDY SAGA
By Pat Partridge
Saturday, September 17
Slightly Frazzled
Dear neighbours, I need your help, and I figure this Nextdoor.com website is as good a place as any to start.
Yesterday, some teenagers busted down our vinyl fence and Buddy2, our Lab, who’s always looking to jailbreak the backyard, took off after them. Buddy, that’s my husband (who I just call “the One” as in Buddy1) went after Buddy2 and the perpetrators in his Toyota pickup, figuring they might be the same teenage turds (pardon my French) who keyed his truck the night before. He left the door open and Buddy3, our tabby, escaped and probably headed into the nearby woods to hunt quail (because they’re kinda slow, like him), and I’m crossing my fingers because that’s where we lost our last cat to coyotes.
My daughter (who’s not named Buddy, thank the Lord) started crying because Buddy1 (that’s her dad, in case you’re getting confused) had her bike in the trunk after we finally got it back from the police department following last week’s theft. It’s sad. She was doing so much better after we finally found a handyman to fix the leak in the roof that kept dripping in her room. He was good, and I’m getting him back here asap to fix the toilet that just seems to keep running and running and running. And speaking of running, did anyone find a pair of pink-and-grey running shoes, size 7, at the Mountain Joy trailhead last Saturday? I think I left them there when Buddy2, who’s not very fond of leashes, broke free while I was changing shoes and made a dash for a squirrel in the park, stopped to poop, and wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t have a dog poop bag with me, but I did in the car, and, well, by the time I got the poop in the bag and Buddy2 back in the car, I had forgotten about the shoes. (Now that I think about it, that poop bag is probably still in the trunk, which explains the smell I’ve been wondering about!)
I haven’t seen Buddy1 or Buddy2 or Buddy 3 in about 24 hours. It’s a lot more peaceful around here right now, but I figure a couple of them will eventually show up. (Frankly, I’m more worried the handyman won’t!) In any case, here’s my request—does anyone know a good therapist? I gave up drinking a while back, and a Diet Coke just isn’t cutting it these days.
Sally Doll
@ Slightly Frazzled. Hi frazzled neighbour. I’m sorry to hear about your woes, but I think you may want to cut your losses. Buddy1 don’t sound like much of a man if he ain’t called in 24 hours, and Labs are nothing but eating machines. I know. The one I had halfway ate the picnic table and all my hydrangeas, then threw them up on the rug. You need a new Buddy4. Do what I did. Get a bird. They still poop but it stays in the cage. I don’t have a man around anymore, except for a handyman, and he and I have become, well, very close. Just my two cents.
Ruthie D.
@ Slightly Frazzled @Sally Doll. Would you mind sharing the name of that handyman? I could use him a few ways, if you get my meaning. Send me a private message, OK?
Robert A.
@ Slightly Frazzled. Good morning, Frazzled. I think I found one of your pink-and-grey shoes yesterday, and it didn’t look so good. It was under a bush, looking like some other dog found its smell threatening, chewed it up, and marked it (if you get my meaning). I picked it up with one of my poop bags and tossed it in the garbage bin. Trust me, I did you a favour. Never saw its mate.
Joanie Smith
@Slightly Frazzled. Listen, I know a therapist who might help. She helped me get over the loss of the most wonderful loving dog and the worst mutt of a man you ever met!
Francine B.
@Slightly Frazzled @Joanie Smith. Does she take Blue Cross, Blue Shield?
Mary Brown
@Slightlly Frazzled. Dear Lady, let me know if you change your mind and want something a little stronger than Coke. I’m buyin! And please keep everybuddy updated on your situation!
Click here to view 55 more replies
Monday, September 19
Slightly Frazzled
Dear Wonderful Neighbours, your outpouring of support about Buddy1, Buddy2, and Buddy3 was heartwarming. I have some good news to report, sort of. Some kindhearted neighbours helped repair the vinyl fence Buddy2, our Lab, escaped out of. One section is now a slightly darker shade—grey instead of white—but I’m not going to look a gift horse or fence in the mouth. I also took Sally Doll’s suggestion and got a Buddy4, a bird, a parrot to be exact. Pretty soon, he was constantly squawking “Where’s Buddy? Where’s Buddy?” all the time… and a few other things I swear he learned someplace else because I gave up swearing a few months after I gave up alcohol. (Both were damn hard to do.)
So, Buddy1 (that’s my husband, Buddy) and Buddy2 showed up yesterday after, I don’t know, 48 hours. He found Buddy2 hanging around one of those snow-cone stands waiting for someone to drop theirs on the ground. Well, Buddy2 was so excited to see him, Buddy1 couldn’t stay angry. He bought Buddy2 his own snow-cone and decided to take the Lab with him on a little fishing trip. (Somehow, Buddy1 just happened to have his fishing gear and camping gear AND a full cooler in the back. And somehow, he just happened to leave his cell phone at home, or, he says, he would have called. Yeah, right.) Turns out having our little girl’s bike in the trunk came in handy when they ended up with a dead battery in the woods, but Buddy1 says he looked kinda silly riding 20 miles to the nearest gas station on a pink My Little Pony bike. (Serves him right, don’t ya think?) I’m sure you fishing crazies out there mostly want to know if he caught any fish, and the answer is “Yes,” regrettably. He caught a tad OVER the limit, got busted, and, while Buddy1 was trying to talk his way out of the fine, Buddy2 was rolling around in the stringer of fish, then took off into the bushes chasing a rabbit. Or so he imagined. Buddy1 says one of the rainbows was a “real monster,” but of course, he didn’t have his phone to take a picture to prove it, and he didn’t bring it home because, he says, a coyote snuck up and ran off with the whole stringer when he went after the Lab.
Turns out it wasn’t a rabbit but a skunk in the bushes, and Buddy1 says he tried his darnedest to get the dog cleaned up in the river, but when Buddy2 shook off, the smell went spraying everywhere. (It sounded like a pretty “fishy” fish story if you ask me, but then both of them smelled mighty stinky when they got out of the car.)
In any case, they’re back. Our little girl is pleased to have her bike back, but she’s not speaking to her daddy, Buddy1, until he buys her a snow-cone too.
Mary Brown
@Slightlly Frazzled. Sweetheart, you got more patience than Job, but I’m not sure there’s much future in Buddy1 and Buddy2. Just sayin’. In any case, I’m glad you enjoyed that extra something with your Coke yesterday when we met. Any time, sister!
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Tuesday, September 20
Slightly Frazzled
Dear special neighbours — you know who you are — I am forever grateful. I figured you deserve a final update. Well, maybe final.
Buddy3, our tabby, returned yesterday. He didn’t go hunting fat, slow quail like I figured. He seemed to have snuck out to rendezvous with this cute Maine Coon cat, and not for the first time, obviously, because she came with him, along with four darling kittens. (Pretty soon, I’ll be posting their pics in case some of you want to adopt Buddy5, Buddy6, Buddy7, or BuddyGirl1, the one female in the litter.)
Buddy4, the parrot, still keeps squawking "Where's Buddy? Where's Buddy?" and every time he does, Buddy2 wags his tail and barks, like he's saying "Here, here!"
Buddy1 doesn’t know it yet, but the therapist I found (thank you, Joanie!) also does some marriage counselling, and he’s going with me because I told him she knows some great spots on the river for rainbows and browns. Which is true. She’s big time into fishing. I don’t think she’s crazy enough to go fishing for my Buddy1, he ain’t that good of a catch, but crazier things have happened, right?
I figure there’s some lesson in here I should learn. I ended up with a simple one — just keep on smiling, even when the world seems to poop on your parade. (Oh… heck. I forgot to remove that dog poop bag from the trunk in all the excitement!) Best to you all, neighbours.
Slightly Frazzled
Dear neighbours, I need your help, and I figure this Nextdoor.com website is as good a place as any to start.
Yesterday, some teenagers busted down our vinyl fence and Buddy2, our Lab, who’s always looking to jailbreak the backyard, took off after them. Buddy, that’s my husband (who I just call “the One” as in Buddy1) went after Buddy2 and the perpetrators in his Toyota pickup, figuring they might be the same teenage turds (pardon my French) who keyed his truck the night before. He left the door open and Buddy3, our tabby, escaped and probably headed into the nearby woods to hunt quail (because they’re kinda slow, like him), and I’m crossing my fingers because that’s where we lost our last cat to coyotes.
My daughter (who’s not named Buddy, thank the Lord) started crying because Buddy1 (that’s her dad, in case you’re getting confused) had her bike in the trunk after we finally got it back from the police department following last week’s theft. It’s sad. She was doing so much better after we finally found a handyman to fix the leak in the roof that kept dripping in her room. He was good, and I’m getting him back here asap to fix the toilet that just seems to keep running and running and running. And speaking of running, did anyone find a pair of pink-and-grey running shoes, size 7, at the Mountain Joy trailhead last Saturday? I think I left them there when Buddy2, who’s not very fond of leashes, broke free while I was changing shoes and made a dash for a squirrel in the park, stopped to poop, and wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t have a dog poop bag with me, but I did in the car, and, well, by the time I got the poop in the bag and Buddy2 back in the car, I had forgotten about the shoes. (Now that I think about it, that poop bag is probably still in the trunk, which explains the smell I’ve been wondering about!)
I haven’t seen Buddy1 or Buddy2 or Buddy 3 in about 24 hours. It’s a lot more peaceful around here right now, but I figure a couple of them will eventually show up. (Frankly, I’m more worried the handyman won’t!) In any case, here’s my request—does anyone know a good therapist? I gave up drinking a while back, and a Diet Coke just isn’t cutting it these days.
Sally Doll
@ Slightly Frazzled. Hi frazzled neighbour. I’m sorry to hear about your woes, but I think you may want to cut your losses. Buddy1 don’t sound like much of a man if he ain’t called in 24 hours, and Labs are nothing but eating machines. I know. The one I had halfway ate the picnic table and all my hydrangeas, then threw them up on the rug. You need a new Buddy4. Do what I did. Get a bird. They still poop but it stays in the cage. I don’t have a man around anymore, except for a handyman, and he and I have become, well, very close. Just my two cents.
Ruthie D.
@ Slightly Frazzled @Sally Doll. Would you mind sharing the name of that handyman? I could use him a few ways, if you get my meaning. Send me a private message, OK?
Robert A.
@ Slightly Frazzled. Good morning, Frazzled. I think I found one of your pink-and-grey shoes yesterday, and it didn’t look so good. It was under a bush, looking like some other dog found its smell threatening, chewed it up, and marked it (if you get my meaning). I picked it up with one of my poop bags and tossed it in the garbage bin. Trust me, I did you a favour. Never saw its mate.
Joanie Smith
@Slightly Frazzled. Listen, I know a therapist who might help. She helped me get over the loss of the most wonderful loving dog and the worst mutt of a man you ever met!
Francine B.
@Slightly Frazzled @Joanie Smith. Does she take Blue Cross, Blue Shield?
Mary Brown
@Slightlly Frazzled. Dear Lady, let me know if you change your mind and want something a little stronger than Coke. I’m buyin! And please keep everybuddy updated on your situation!
Click here to view 55 more replies
Monday, September 19
Slightly Frazzled
Dear Wonderful Neighbours, your outpouring of support about Buddy1, Buddy2, and Buddy3 was heartwarming. I have some good news to report, sort of. Some kindhearted neighbours helped repair the vinyl fence Buddy2, our Lab, escaped out of. One section is now a slightly darker shade—grey instead of white—but I’m not going to look a gift horse or fence in the mouth. I also took Sally Doll’s suggestion and got a Buddy4, a bird, a parrot to be exact. Pretty soon, he was constantly squawking “Where’s Buddy? Where’s Buddy?” all the time… and a few other things I swear he learned someplace else because I gave up swearing a few months after I gave up alcohol. (Both were damn hard to do.)
So, Buddy1 (that’s my husband, Buddy) and Buddy2 showed up yesterday after, I don’t know, 48 hours. He found Buddy2 hanging around one of those snow-cone stands waiting for someone to drop theirs on the ground. Well, Buddy2 was so excited to see him, Buddy1 couldn’t stay angry. He bought Buddy2 his own snow-cone and decided to take the Lab with him on a little fishing trip. (Somehow, Buddy1 just happened to have his fishing gear and camping gear AND a full cooler in the back. And somehow, he just happened to leave his cell phone at home, or, he says, he would have called. Yeah, right.) Turns out having our little girl’s bike in the trunk came in handy when they ended up with a dead battery in the woods, but Buddy1 says he looked kinda silly riding 20 miles to the nearest gas station on a pink My Little Pony bike. (Serves him right, don’t ya think?) I’m sure you fishing crazies out there mostly want to know if he caught any fish, and the answer is “Yes,” regrettably. He caught a tad OVER the limit, got busted, and, while Buddy1 was trying to talk his way out of the fine, Buddy2 was rolling around in the stringer of fish, then took off into the bushes chasing a rabbit. Or so he imagined. Buddy1 says one of the rainbows was a “real monster,” but of course, he didn’t have his phone to take a picture to prove it, and he didn’t bring it home because, he says, a coyote snuck up and ran off with the whole stringer when he went after the Lab.
Turns out it wasn’t a rabbit but a skunk in the bushes, and Buddy1 says he tried his darnedest to get the dog cleaned up in the river, but when Buddy2 shook off, the smell went spraying everywhere. (It sounded like a pretty “fishy” fish story if you ask me, but then both of them smelled mighty stinky when they got out of the car.)
In any case, they’re back. Our little girl is pleased to have her bike back, but she’s not speaking to her daddy, Buddy1, until he buys her a snow-cone too.
Mary Brown
@Slightlly Frazzled. Sweetheart, you got more patience than Job, but I’m not sure there’s much future in Buddy1 and Buddy2. Just sayin’. In any case, I’m glad you enjoyed that extra something with your Coke yesterday when we met. Any time, sister!
Click here to view 23 more replies
Tuesday, September 20
Slightly Frazzled
Dear special neighbours — you know who you are — I am forever grateful. I figured you deserve a final update. Well, maybe final.
Buddy3, our tabby, returned yesterday. He didn’t go hunting fat, slow quail like I figured. He seemed to have snuck out to rendezvous with this cute Maine Coon cat, and not for the first time, obviously, because she came with him, along with four darling kittens. (Pretty soon, I’ll be posting their pics in case some of you want to adopt Buddy5, Buddy6, Buddy7, or BuddyGirl1, the one female in the litter.)
Buddy4, the parrot, still keeps squawking "Where's Buddy? Where's Buddy?" and every time he does, Buddy2 wags his tail and barks, like he's saying "Here, here!"
Buddy1 doesn’t know it yet, but the therapist I found (thank you, Joanie!) also does some marriage counselling, and he’s going with me because I told him she knows some great spots on the river for rainbows and browns. Which is true. She’s big time into fishing. I don’t think she’s crazy enough to go fishing for my Buddy1, he ain’t that good of a catch, but crazier things have happened, right?
I figure there’s some lesson in here I should learn. I ended up with a simple one — just keep on smiling, even when the world seems to poop on your parade. (Oh… heck. I forgot to remove that dog poop bag from the trunk in all the excitement!) Best to you all, neighbours.