Stand-Up Menu
By Jo Battercombe
Appetiser: Lemon sorbet, teeth clacking against an ice-water glass, stomach pterodactyls.
Starter: Watermelon and parma ham served with rocket, wristwatch-glances, uncomfortable sweat and orange juice.
Fish course: Salmon on a bed of mushy peas and spinach, awkward hellos, nice-to-meet-yous, silence. Fork scrapes.
Main course: Confusion over language choices are written in, flummoxed waiter, dithering. Hasty chicken. Fixed grin.
Dessert: Stilted conversation, cross-purposes, chocolate chip brownie and ice cream. Lacking one spoon so have to share. Frantic addition of bill in head, ingratiating face.
Coffee and mints. Thirty minutes in toilet, stuck in window. No awkward goodbye.
Starter: Watermelon and parma ham served with rocket, wristwatch-glances, uncomfortable sweat and orange juice.
Fish course: Salmon on a bed of mushy peas and spinach, awkward hellos, nice-to-meet-yous, silence. Fork scrapes.
Main course: Confusion over language choices are written in, flummoxed waiter, dithering. Hasty chicken. Fixed grin.
Dessert: Stilted conversation, cross-purposes, chocolate chip brownie and ice cream. Lacking one spoon so have to share. Frantic addition of bill in head, ingratiating face.
Coffee and mints. Thirty minutes in toilet, stuck in window. No awkward goodbye.