Extraterrestrial Creatures I Have Met* During My Psychic Travels Through Space: A Genially Truncated Lexicon
by R. D. Ronstad
Andorians. Always saying stuff like: "Let's see, we can invade Earth and/or Venus" and "We can kill and/or enslave all the inhabitants."
Badoon. Not what they call themselves. Avid fans of The Little Rascals, the way Buckwheat said “balloon” cracked them up so much, they began to use it like Bill and Ted use "Excellent!" Consequently, other races began to call them by this name.
Chozo. Told me that Cher and Bozo once secretly married and honeymooned on their planet, and that they are the result. Their story is plausible from the looks of them.
Daktaklakpak Originally came to Earth because they thought Popeye was summoning them. (Say their name twice real fast and it sounds like Popeye laughing. At least, if you're watching from another galaxy, which they were.)
Ego the Living Planet. A single entity with many manifestations. We've all run into him or her countless times.
Face Dancers/The Face of Boe. Wikipedia lists them separately but they have a symbiotic relationship; played Vegas briefly.
Gloarft. I never met a Gloarft, but I saw Gloarft flash on the TV screen once when Batman landed one in The Riddler's solar plexus.
Hydrans… Afflicted by cynophobia, and for good reason.
Iberons. Space pirates, all named Ron.
Kig-yar. Most of them are shape-shifters, but sometimes a Kig-yar is just a Kig-yar.
Liir. Their pants are on Fiir.
Malons. When they're on, they're off.
Nox. Approachable when they're alone or in groups, but don't bother two Nox.
Old Ones. Look like this: I (Young Ones look like this: 1)
Plutonians. Space refugees ever since their planet disappeared.
Qou'thalas. A very unreasonable race. Argued till I was blue in the face trying to convince them that their u was misplaced. (They argued till they were green in the face.)
Raxacoricofallapatorians. Raxacoricofallapator for short.
Schniarfeurs. Known for their organisation, efficiency, directness, humourlessness, and sausage.
Trolls. No comment necessary on this one. We're all way past first contact.
Urpneys. Their official language is Pig Latin. Honest!
Vespid. Would wreak havoc in the galaxy if not for the Vespego.
Willis the Bouncer. Would not admit me to the planet Kobol to visit my uncle, Roger the Weird. Refused to believe we were related because, he said, I wasn't weird enough. I've never been so offended.
X the Parasite. If it were not for X the Parasite, X would look like this: /
Yeti. Shares a home-world with Bigfoot, Nessie, Chimera, The Jersey Devil, The Basilisk, and The Kraken. Their planet is a gas giant.
Zabrak. Often mistaken for the bandleader on Space Ghost Coast to Coast.
*Wikipedia says they are all made up, but if that were true, how could I possibly know all this stuff?
Badoon. Not what they call themselves. Avid fans of The Little Rascals, the way Buckwheat said “balloon” cracked them up so much, they began to use it like Bill and Ted use "Excellent!" Consequently, other races began to call them by this name.
Chozo. Told me that Cher and Bozo once secretly married and honeymooned on their planet, and that they are the result. Their story is plausible from the looks of them.
Daktaklakpak Originally came to Earth because they thought Popeye was summoning them. (Say their name twice real fast and it sounds like Popeye laughing. At least, if you're watching from another galaxy, which they were.)
Ego the Living Planet. A single entity with many manifestations. We've all run into him or her countless times.
Face Dancers/The Face of Boe. Wikipedia lists them separately but they have a symbiotic relationship; played Vegas briefly.
Gloarft. I never met a Gloarft, but I saw Gloarft flash on the TV screen once when Batman landed one in The Riddler's solar plexus.
Hydrans… Afflicted by cynophobia, and for good reason.
Iberons. Space pirates, all named Ron.
Kig-yar. Most of them are shape-shifters, but sometimes a Kig-yar is just a Kig-yar.
Liir. Their pants are on Fiir.
Malons. When they're on, they're off.
Nox. Approachable when they're alone or in groups, but don't bother two Nox.
Old Ones. Look like this: I (Young Ones look like this: 1)
Plutonians. Space refugees ever since their planet disappeared.
Qou'thalas. A very unreasonable race. Argued till I was blue in the face trying to convince them that their u was misplaced. (They argued till they were green in the face.)
Raxacoricofallapatorians. Raxacoricofallapator for short.
Schniarfeurs. Known for their organisation, efficiency, directness, humourlessness, and sausage.
Trolls. No comment necessary on this one. We're all way past first contact.
Urpneys. Their official language is Pig Latin. Honest!
Vespid. Would wreak havoc in the galaxy if not for the Vespego.
Willis the Bouncer. Would not admit me to the planet Kobol to visit my uncle, Roger the Weird. Refused to believe we were related because, he said, I wasn't weird enough. I've never been so offended.
X the Parasite. If it were not for X the Parasite, X would look like this: /
Yeti. Shares a home-world with Bigfoot, Nessie, Chimera, The Jersey Devil, The Basilisk, and The Kraken. Their planet is a gas giant.
Zabrak. Often mistaken for the bandleader on Space Ghost Coast to Coast.
*Wikipedia says they are all made up, but if that were true, how could I possibly know all this stuff?